Welcome to week 5 of “How to be an Ally.”
We’re on the last letter of the ROAR acronym this week: the R.
If you missed the others, they are
R – Recognize Privilege
O – Openness to Learning
A – Action
The last R is for Recognize Difference.
This is possibly the most important of all the letters, because without it, we may be misled into believing that one-size-fits-all. This means we’ll only look at privilege through one lens, we may only learn some things, and miss others, and our actions may only serve part of the communities we are allied with.
Because – every community is made up of a diversity of members. Yes, the membership means they have at least one identity in common – for example, the LGBTQ communities have their LGBTQ+ identities in common, and the experiences of discrimination due to attraction or gender identity. However, within that umbrella, the letters make a difference to our experience (lesbians, gay men, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning people will have varied experiences within the LGBTQ+ communities). That’s the first difference.
Then, LGBTQ people (like all people) also have many other identities that make them who they are: skin colour, socio-economic status, language, abilities, body size, education – to name a few.
Why recognizing difference is important
Recognizing difference is important because these other identities – and how they intersect with the one you are allied with – create different experiences, realities and needs within the community you support. Diversity of identities means that some people in each community will have privilege in other areas (which can make their access easier) and that some will not have privilege in other areas (which can make their access even harder). Here’s an example.
Here’s are some examples: A 40-year old gay man of colour working as a manager will have a very different experience of what is means to be gay than a gay white man of who is 25 and unemployed. If either of them is Trans, it changes things again. And if any of these people are female, it changes again. Different experiences of what it means to be LGBTQ mean different realities and needs. And different realities and needs may require different advocacy and action. In order to advocate or act effectively, we need to know what people have access to, what their barriers are, how these impact them – and where they feel discrimination.
Actions need to take difference into consideration
Last week we learned that some actions are about making room, making space and creating opportunities for people to be seen and heard. If we are not careful, those who are given those opportunities to be seen and heard will be the ones with other privileges – often most notably due to skin colour, class, and ability. In this case, because of how our bias works, they will be the ones we may see first; leaving their brothers and sisters of colour, of lower income and those who are differently and disabled (etc) in the shadows. Which means, if we are not vigilant and recognizing difference we may only get a few stories, not the whole array of stories – and who we “see” as LGBTQ or who we think of, and know about, is skewed. The result? The solutions and the changes being fought for may not work for everyone in the community we are allied with.
And so, as allies we must remember that we are made up of many different identities and that these identities shape us all; our experiences, what we need and how we are seen. As allies we have to shine a light on that – not only for our own application to ROAR, and to how we move through and apply each letter in this acronym in order to advocate for change, but for how we interact with and see the people we are allied with.
See more.
PS – If you want an extra challenge, sign up for my weekly Inclusion Insight. We’re covering the same series and you get a challenge each week to practice each letter of ROAR.
PPS – If you’re enjoying the series, and you want to dive in a bit more, sign up for my e-book: Learning to ROAR – Effective Allyship! I’ll send it to you when the series is done. You’ll also be signed up for the Inclusion Insight. You can unsubscribe at any time.
PPPS – For more information about LGBTQ allies in the workplace, and the resources needed for inclusion. please see Queer Tech MTL’s series on this topic.
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