Changing Behaviour

As you may recall (if you read last week’s blogpost) I changed the password on my cellphone two weeks ago.

I’m reporting back on my progress, and I’m happy to report that it’s been a couple of days that I’m finally getting it.

Link to D&I

What does this have to do with D&I you may ask.

Every time I pick up my phone, I have an automatic and physical response. I type in my old password, without thinking. Just like assumptions and biases are automatic go-tos that our brain taps into when making decisions.

So here is what happened:

First. I brought awareness to the process. I asked myself, what do I need to do differently? Awareness is the first part of changing any behaviour.

Slowing down helped. But I tended to only remember that once I had already made the mistake. Speed is part of my personality.

Then I thought, how about if I prompted myself when I picked up the phone? That didn’t work because I had to remember to do that! And in the moment, I wasn’t thinking ahead.

It was clear that the change was not happening on its own.

Support for change

So I wondered: How can I support myself in remembering the new password and reducing my failure rate and subsequent frustration (– and by the way, lack of efficiency because let’s face it, not getting into my phone right away is a time suck)?

Here’s what I did:

1. I tried a sticky note on the outside flap.

Well that didn’t help because I automatically (and often without looking) opened the phone when I was getting ready to use it. So I didn’t see the note.

The lesson: put reminders where they are going to be effective!

2. I put the sticky note on the screen.

That was annoying, and ended up not working because I moved it the first time and then didn’t put it back. The sticky note ended up on the floor where I passed it several times with a feeling of disdain.

The lesson: the support can’t be annoying!

3. I changed my expectations

I recognized that I was not going to be able to be speedy right away; that my phone system would look different. I let that sink in for a bit, for it to be ok. So I could make some room for the new way of being.

The lesson: giving myself room/time to change is important. Patience is important!

4. Then I slowed down.

Thanks to the lock down, I’m learning to slow down a bit. There is not the same urgency to things… So, I decided to apply this to my phone.

The lesson: sometimes change is supported in ways that don’t seem to be directly related.

Success!

I’m happy to say that as of two days ago (about 2 weeks after changing my password). I’m finally at a place that I remember that it is different and am typing in the new one. I actually hear my internal voice say “new password” as I open the phone. So, I’m promoting myself, which is good!

I’m slower than before, but I’m proud to say that I have not put in the old one by accident in a few days!

That’s a win!
Changing any behaviour is a process. We have to manage expectations and find ways to support change. When we are working on a new way of being with others, we also have the benefit of being able to support each other, and creating tangible ways to do so.

If you get my Inclusion Insight and did the challenge last week, what did you try to change, and how did it go?

I’d love to hear about it.

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